Monday, September 11, 2006

Ground Zero

We visited New York City in January of 2005. It was bitter cold, but we made a point to visit Ground Zero where the twin towers fell. By then, the area felt more like a typical construction zone rather than sacred ground.

Unfortunately, on September 11, 2001, my day and evening was filled with construction meetings, so I didn't get to park in front of the TV and take in the news as I would have prefered. I've mentioned before that the year 2001 was easily the most difficult of my life. I lost all 3 of my remaining living grandparents, my twin nephews were born extremenly premature and struggled to live, and I was in the middle of the absolute worst construction project I had ever known. When I say I was depressed, I don't believe that even begins to explain it. It was to the point that I almost couldn't function - there were times I would call Alice during the day at work and I couldn't even get words out of my mouth on the phone. I typed up a resignation letter on September 17, 2001, but I never had the nerve to turn it in. I had nowhere to go, but I felt like I couldn't handle the pressure any more.

My heart goes out to the thousands who were directly affected by the September 11 events. I don't mean to be selfish, but unfortunately when I think of 9/11 my thoughts will always go back to the circumstances of my own life at that time. It was as dark as the cloud over Manhattan that day.

As often is the case, there were a handful of songs that I kept playing over and over to remind me of the hope I believed in, no matter how hard it was to see at the time. This was the main one. I usually skip it when it comes on the cd now, as it brings back too much pain. But, I held on to it tightly at the time. Maybe it will help some of you who are at the end of your rope.

I Need You More

I need You more
more than yesterday
I need You more
more than words can say
I need You more
than ever before
I need You more
I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I'll be by Your side
Cause I never want to go back to my old life

I need You more
more than yesterday
I need You more
more than words can say
I need You more
than ever before
I need You more
I need You Lord


by Lindell Cooley & Bruce Haynes
Copyright 1996 Integrity's Hosanna Music & Centergy Music

3 comments:

Jeanne said...

I know what you mean. I've had a couple of years like that lately. It was such a confussing time because on the one hand God was lavishly blessing us but with it came some times of incredible pain. The last two years have been an incredible journey for me. It was during this time that we learned the song "Blessed Be Your Name" and it swept my heart away. I still can't sing it without choking up, but my spirit thrills to sing it. It is true, He gives and takes away, but I will still say, Blessed Be Your Name!

Jeanne said...

Whoops! Confussing - the act of confessing confusion. That's bound to be a Terry Rush word!!

Anonymous said...

My young son it is such twists, turns and disapointments of life in over fifty-eight years that continue to remind me of my all time favorite song "Hold to God's Unchanging Hand." Verse two begns "Trust in Him who will not leave you, What so ever years my bring..." It was a very good post and a very good lesson.

Dad