Monday, October 16, 2006

Now for the techies...

I guess I'm on a role with these jabs at the different facets of my ministry, so here's the next one (from this month's Worship Leader magazine):

10 Things Techs Wish They Could Say To Worship Leaders

1. "I can't break the laws of physics just so you can have more vocal in your monitor. I didn't invent the laws, I just live by them."

2. "Repeating the phrase, "More me, more me' from the microphone, over and over, comes across just a bit self-centered."

3. "No, there isn't a 'muddy knob' I can turn down to make it sound better."

4. "A new microphone will help some, but let's not expect any miracles."

5. "Do you think you could move your monitor yourself? If not, I'll certainly run all the way downstairs, across the auditorium and up to the stage to scoot it over three inches."

6. "Oh, never mind me. I didn't want anything from Starbucks. I've only been here by myself for the last three hours setting all this up for you."

7. "No, if you ask me to turn all the house lights down, I can't make it so you can see the audience's reaction during the songs."

8. "The camera angle doesn't make your hair spike in strange directions, you do that yourself."

9. "There is not a knob to make it sound more round, more blue, or any other shape or color."

10. "Thanks for the input on how to mix. After the service, I'll give you some input on how to sing."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes, yes I really like these!!!!!!!!!

Dad Cofman

Jeanise said...

ROFL...

Amy W said...

Hey, Shane! :)

I'm not sure that we have ever met. I stumbled across your blog.

Hi from ZOE land and Nashvegas! :)

AW

Shane Coffman said...

Hi, Amy. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. No, we haven't met, although I know who you are. Does that freak you out? ;) I try not to be too much of a groupie...

I really do appreciate you and the rest of the Zoe crew. You bless ministries like ours here in Tulsa in a major way.

Phil said...

Shane, this is hysterical. Not that Brandon Scott Thomas ever does any of these things...

Brandon Scott said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Awesome!

Brenda said...

This is absolutely hilarious!!!!